I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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