Yo dont text me then not text me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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