he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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