so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
