my sisters under your porch take her home
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
