This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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