And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
