non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
