Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
