I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Operation Purity has been aborted
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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