I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
