Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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