I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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