ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
