There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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