i barfeds in our rink
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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