Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
