I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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