i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
