Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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