I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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