She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
