Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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