you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
