who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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