dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
