i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
