at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize