yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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