wakey wakey hands off snakey
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
