That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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