But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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