she is the kim kardashian of front butts
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
