Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
