i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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