awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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