This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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