cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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