Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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