Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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