Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize