i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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