I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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