i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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