and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
