we're blogging at a bar
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
