If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
