i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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