Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize