Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
