haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
