Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
