1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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