Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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