im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
