Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Please, let me fuck your mom
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
