I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
