I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize