He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
