Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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