I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
