Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.

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(240): View more from Maryland

i think i left a case of beer in your dryer

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(226): View more from Ontario

This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex

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(302): View more from Delaware

A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

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(917): View more from New York City

It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth

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