they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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