You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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