hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
