As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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