Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
