Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
