Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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