Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
