i can't believe i had my finger in that
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
