he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
