Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize