Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
