I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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