dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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