you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
