I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
