It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
